Random Blog Post #2: Stop Moving to Portland

Historically, when people have referenced the Pacific Northwest, they have thought of Seattle or San Francisco - not Portland. The city of roses was a forgotten gem on the West Coast for some time - and us locals were perfectly okay with that. We kept to ourselves, building a culture like no other. Those who visited us often acknowledged the luscious greenery that surrounds the city and the beautiful Willamette River that cuts through the heart of downtown. But only few knew what this city truly embodied... until recently. The residents of our metropolitan area over time have branded themselves with the slogan "Keep Portland Weird" through their unique trends of clothing, food, and personalities.

However, our quirky city has recently been brought to the limelight in many ways. With the emergence of shows like Portlandia and expansions of local food chains like Salt and Straw, Portland culture has spread like wildfire throughout the United States. We have accidentally caught the curiosity of the rest of the country, who are now wanting to find out where the ideas like putting bacon on maple bars or forming moped gangs came from. Now, we find ourselves overrun with intruders and are one of the fastest growing cities in America. It sucks.

You could argue that the majority of America has already been ruined with overpopulation, so people have been forced to finally adopt our culture while moving to do the same to our city. I know many of you reading this probably come from busy cities with traffic. Therefore, you might not know what it would be like to have consistently clear freeways at any time of the day and be able to get anywhere in a maximum of 15 minutes. Well, at one point this was our reality. However, thanks to all of our intruders, our freeways have been overrun and we no longer have this luxury. 

Not only has our physical infrastructure been impacted by these transplants, but so has our culture. Many residents of our city have began to abandon the genuine, overly friendly, and weird traits and conform to those brought from other places. I know what you might be thinking right now: this is a little bit dramatic. I'm aware, but trust me I could say a lot more. In conclusion, stop moving to Portland - our weather sucks.